Find Your Perfect Partner

Find your perfect partner. For the sake of this article I am going to assume that the person who is searching is a woman. This is because I have worked all of my adult life, about 30 years, as a full-time professional giving advice to people about such matters, and it has always been women who have come to me for help.



Whatever you may think most women long to be with the ideal man and those who already have a man are unlikely to be able to HONESTLY claim he is perfect. Either he has a fault or the excitement has gone out of the relationship over a period of time. The perfect man has no faults and never becomes boring. How to find your perfect man will depend very much on you. Each woman has a different idea of what her perfect man would be like and what would be ideal for one might sound horrific to another. This is why, thankfully, the World is populated with millions of people of all different shapes, sizes, ages and types.



All women look for different things. Some women swoon at a man who is handsome with a perfect physique, others are drawn to men who need mothering, others to a man who is confident, sparkly and bright. Luckily each man has a different idea of what his perfect woman is like. One might be drawn to a stick insect while another prefers a cuddly woman and another does not care about looks at all.



To find the right person for you, someone who will make you happy in the short and the long term, you need to make a list of all the things you have to offer a man and all the things you seek in a man and see where they marry up.


When you make your list include deal breakers and deal makers. Your deal breakers may be that you cannot stand a man who is a heavy drinkers, so make a note to yourself to stay away from such men regardless of anything else they may be able to offer.
One thing I noticed about a lot of the women I spoke to in my office was that many of them would find a guy on a dating site, see his photo, find out he lives quite near and then arrange to meet him. Then a few days later they may meet him or be in contact again. Weeks later they would say they have no wish to speak to him again because they found out he is unemployed or homeless or has just come out of prison. Fine, good decision, but they could have asked him about those things before meeting and saved time on pointless meets.


Then ask yourself where such a man would spend his spare time. If you love reading and would love to be with a man who spends a lot of time reading then you may find him in a library or a bookshop but he is unlikely to be in a busy bar or nightclub. A sporty woman who loves racing around and swimming would probably not be very interested in a man who reads a lot of books.



The things that most women would agree are important is that the man is honest and faithful, these are things you cannot ask the guy. They may tell you they are but it does not guarantee they are right or being honest about it. If the man is married or separated and insisting he is decent, honest and loyal then ask yourself why his marriage went wrong. Was it because he was playing around? If his wife was the one who decided to end the relationship it may be because he has a terrible fault which is a deal breaker to you too, so ask him why the relationship ended BEFORE you waste six months dating him.



When you know what your idea of a great man is then stick to it.
You also need a lot of patience, otherwise you will make do with someone who is the wrong age or type simply because you cannot wait for the right one. By Charlotte Craig, President of The Association of Agony Aunts at http://www.askgagonyaunt.com. Most of the unhappiness I have seen in relationships has been caused by people setting for second best, which only happens if you become impatient. Find your perfect partner.